So when I found yet another bit of spam advertising products that claim to make bits of the male anatomy bigger (it's always that sort of product), I decided to fire off this email.
Dear sir or madam
Thank you for choosing to use my blog (markrimmell on livejournal) to advertise your products. Unfortunately I have had to remove your first advert because as of this date we have not received payment from your company for this advert. We will not be charging for the period the advert was active this time, as terms and conditions are not displayed on the blog. However we now put you on notice that if you place further adverts in the comments boxes on the blog, they will be deleted and there will be a removal fee of $1000 (US) for each unauthorised use of this facility.
Should you wish to book an advert we would be happy to run one, in the form and location of the aforementioned unauthorised one, for the very reasonable fee of $500 (US) per year, providing your products are licensed for use in the UK and the Websites your advert links to do not breach the ASA codes of practice (http://www.asa.org.uk/) in the UK or any similar laws, codes of practice in the territory in which they are hosted and/or the territory of targeted consumers.
I include the notification of the unauthorised advert below for your information.
This e-mail and the information it contains may be privileged and/or confidential. It is for the intended addressee(s) only. The unauthorised use, disclosure or copying of this e-mail, or any information it contains, is prohibited. If you are not an intended recipient, please contact the sender and delete the material from your computer.
Yes I really will bill them if they do it again!